Wow! Becoming an "overnight mom" (as I call my foster care experiences) has changed my experiences as a teacher in so many ways. It is unfathomable to me.
I am ashamed to admit it, but I have always been one of those teachers who said, "My child will NEVER do this." or "I will NEVER make an excuse for my child like that!" First of all, allow me to admit...my children have done so many things I swore my children would never do. Not just in the classroom, but in life in general. They've lied to me. They've thrown a fit in the store. (I have now been known to put a toy or item back on the shelf and take my child to the car, while my husband finishes getting the essentials...or vice versa.) They've screamed in my face. They've told me they hated me and/or my house...a few minutes later, they've come to me, hugging me tightly and asking me if I still love them. (Of course, this answer is ALWAYS...nothing you can do will ever make me stop loving you. I mean this more than I ever thought it would be possible to mean this.) So, parents...I apologize. I now know your children will make you into a liar. I know they will test you, and they will make you carry out your "That's not a threat, it's a promise" punishments. I DO realize, it's sometimes the parent. I wasn't wrong in every situation...but I was wrong at times. I plan to avoid the phrase, "MY child will NEVER..." for the rest of my life! As for the "I will NEVER make an excuse for my child...." I had to email Little Man's teacher last week, because I legitimately kept his homework folder in my possession, forgetting to give it to him...with his completed homework in it. OOPS.
I am a very animated and verbal person. I use lots of exclamation points...lots of capital letters...and lots of underlining...all for emphasis (one of Little Man's vocabulary words this week). I still do this some (as you can see in the paragraph above); however, one day I received a graded paper of Baby Girl's. It had a statement written in all capital letters with three exclamation points. I honestly (after I calmed down) don't believe the teacher meant any harm in this. I think she was just making emphasis to encourage Baby Girl to try harder or let her know what was "needed." Still...the form in which the statement came stung me...briefly...for at least 24 hours. ;-) I'm emotional and overprotective when it comes to "my babies." I know this. If I'm emotional and overprotective with my kiddoes, though...how many times have my exclamation points, capital letters, and underlining wounded a parent (or student??) unintentionally? I will forever be much more cautious about the circumstances surrounding my emphatic language...and the audience reading such emphasis.
Many times, I have heard, "Start the way you mean to go on..." and "Don't wait for the honeymoon period to wear off before you enforce your policies and procedures" and....you get the idea. When we found out we were becoming foster parents for the first time, I received this same bit of advice from my dear friend, Delana. "If you expect them to put their dishes in the sink every night, start that on Day One. If you want their beds made each day, start it from Day One." She said more than this, but that's the general idea...."Start the way you mean to go on...." I have ALWAYS known this in my classroom...I have ALWAYS tried to be good at having this mentality and behavior....I have inevitably always failed at it, as well! This year...boy am I on it! If you're talking when I'm talking...I won't embarrass you, but I will address it. Immediately. If you're disrupting classes on our way to lunch, I will address it. If you're cutting up in the library, and I say, "I'm moving you the next time you talk..." I'm moving you the next time you talk. It's that simple. This has changed the dynamics of my classroom. I still have a warm, loving, welcoming environment. My students still love me...and they know I love them. More than that, the room is calmer. (Don't get me wrong...4th block is still wild and chaotic at times; they are chipper, talkative, hyper kids...and it's the end of the day! When it is time to work, though...they know I'm serious; talking and play stops...and work commences.)
I've never been the teacher who didn't enter grades regularly. I try to enter at least one grade a day...but I enter 3 or 4 a week at the LEAST, even if it's just a participation grade for answering a question in class. Often, we grade papers together so the students get instant feedback. That's just who I am. Still, I know not all teachers are like that. This year, there was a division-wide push that all teachers must enter at least 3 grades per week. I know why! I'm a parent now! I may be slightly compulsive...I check at least once a day, sometimes more...but I want to know what grades my kids have! By the way...Baby Girl has all S's...Little Man has 1 F (in Math...but we are pulling that up...if he will slow down), 1 B and the rest As! Yes...I'm proud of them. I will admit the F stresses me out, but we are talking about two kids who NEVER did homework at home...now we do it every night! It's a learning process for them! They're getting there! It's a learning process for me and Jeremy, as well! We're all getting there together! (For example, homework gets done as soon as we get home. I used to give them "down time." That doesn't work for these kids of ours...that isn't to say kids we have later will be the same; if we have down time, it's pulling teeth to accomplish anything later.)
Plain and simple, I believe I'm a better teacher because of my kids. I have always loved my students and considered them my "kids." Many of them call me "Mom" or consider me a second mom. I believe I love my students even more now, if that was possible. I'm a better teacher for them. I'm a better teacher for the parents...I judge them much less! ;-)
Little Man and Baby Girl (and Big D)...thank you for educating me. Thank you for helping me to change and grow into a better teacher, as I become a better parent each day! I love you more than I will ever be able to put into words. In the 2 months and 9 days you have been in my world (has it really only been that long???)...you have changed me forever. My world will never be the same, and I can't imagine it without you in it. Thank you. I love you.
To my students, I promise to continue to learn, change, and grow WITH you. I promise to continue to do all I need to do to be a better teacher for you, each and every day. I love you!
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